afterthoughts

i am overly excited by change. there's a lot going on lately and all at once and these are the points in my life that i feel most excited, most happy to be alive. i love when things are moving.

and i'm moving. to williamsburg. the landlord called us back yesterday and said we've all been approved to move into this giant loft. and we're going to start building this weekend- hopefully.

we have to build our four bedrooms into this loft because right now it's just all open with a cool open lofty second floor space. it's really rad. you need to see it.

my only worry now is that someone in BK just told me that this building we're moving into is a 'party spot'- which is cool when you wanna party- no so cool when you want to do work, but I think i can manage to deal for at least a year.

i've also changed a lot lately. emotionally.
i went off some bum medication about a month ago and have felt really great. It's amazing how you can get caught up in taking a pill for this, a pill for that until you're on some insane cocktail of drugs and don't even know if your feelings are your own anymore. now i know.

everything i feel is exactly how i'm feeling and i haven't been deeply depressed like i was all through the fall and winter. it's a good, strong feeling i have now. but for some reason i'm insanely hyper and impulsive.

i'm working to find the balance.


and i'm changing physically. hitting up two kickball leagues in one season, running when i can and heading back to yoga has made me incredibly strong and given me good mental clarity. it doesn't matter to me if i win the game i play AS MUCH AS the feeling i get when i play. I can throw further than ever and my legs are getting really strong. It's also really fulfilling playing in brooklyn kickball because I get to bat several times per game and get to be more aggressive in the larger field. It makes me feel valuable and that is a great feeling. even better because I'm doing it for myself.