Monday, March 22, 2010

weekend update email to VJ and Donna

i got tan this weekend.
V- i'm sorry to hear about the snow. that might have enraged me.
I missed Kav a lot this weekend. I don't know why. I always remember the good stuff, I guess. Am feeling lonely as well.

have second interview tomorrow for PR manager for this company-

meeting with the head of marketing tomorrow AM and just sent over some writing samples. I have to say, the one thing that my current job gave me was ample time to craft and write some really good articles that i'm proud of. When I read them, they restore my confidence that I can take on this new job.

I haven't been feeling very confident lately. as much as i try to keep my chin up, I'm just sad again. I fell off the wagon and drank a lot this weekend and feel pretty down. I think there really must be a correlation between the drinking and my brain chemicals.

I also am just craving, needing a big life change because I'm starting to feel really despondent about everything. and that's no fun.

sorry for the life affirming email guys. heh.
I did have a nice weekend- I spent a whole day tanning in the park and I played went running, did yoga and played kickball yesterday which is all a part of my plan to get in shape fast. That Always makes me feel good about myself. And that's something I Can control.

I think I'm just confused about what my next steps should be- because this job seems to be coming to an end, My lease is about to end and I have to figure out where to move, and my relationship just came to an end and that made me really sad, despite how strong I've been about it. Add that to my part-time worries about my mom and our finances. It's all a lot to think about.

sorry for all the wind!
love you both

Sunday, March 7, 2010

i think

i overreacted. it still felt good to get that emotional garbage out of me and into space. and it's still really good that my relationship ended because it was just sucking too much anyways. we both knew it. i dont know why i freak out so much whenever big things conclude. i want to try to temper that more in the future. i think it'd be better for me.

try try again.