zoe and the people from the past

i keep meeting these girls, who remind me of you, and i wish i was seventeen pulling on your toes to wake you up, skipping school to skip rocks on the sea. salty and sticky. stuck together on the wharf like barnacles.

and i miss my dusty old civic. with sand ground into the pedals, scraping the pads of my feet and it feels incredible. driving the length of the sound, turning left and into the woods, past the fresh cut golf course, then another, then another.

spilling out onto the driveway, hot pavement on our bathingsuit bottoms, eating taco bell. and you only ate chalupas. and we would have never moved if your mothers car hadn't rolled in and called you away to sweep the floors.

advice from the Dali-Vaughnda

In a way your life is like a glass of water with some sediment in it. The water is your life. The sediment is your karmic dept/ life condition/ your weaker self. For instance, part of my weaker self is sloppy who'll turn in an estimate with bad math because I don't want to recheck it and I'm in a hurry. This has seriously caused me problems my whole fucking life and it's a constant battle.

Anyways, you know the people who get under your skin and irritate you on a consistent basis? Do know why some days you can handle them and some days you can't? Instead of viewing that person as annoying pain in the ass. You should view that person as stirring up your own karma. The people who push your buttons are a test. A chance to control your weakness.

It's a nice reminder that when those people are getting to you it's because you are letting your weaker self win. Sometime I forget, but when I remember this, it helps me battle my weaker self and consequentially help stave off the annoying people. There will always be annoying people. You're the only person you can control. Getting back to a clear glass of water who can handle her own damn sediment.

Wear your bell bottoms, Wendy. It's Tuesday.

hairless and shining and sun-kissed and brilliant. A pillar, a healer, someone who kneels before God. Wielding a spoon and silver in our pockets, stronger and burning brightly for longer. Brandishing valor, the girl in the tower, clearing the way, a defendant and innocent. Or insolent. Hurt and dying to be understood. Good. we all have these ideas of what we have to be.