This week I watched Protagonist-- a documentary about a Martial Arts instructor, a German Terrorist, a Gay Evangelist and a Bank Robber. The stories they tell all touch on the male father-figures in their lives and how those men affected their development and 'career' choices and personal life choices.

This movie was pretty steller. There are some questionable transitional scenes with marionettes quoting Greek or Roman scriptures that could probably be removed.

I dont really think about the affect my dad has had on me so much anymore, but this reminded me that I'm still making poor decisions, especially with men, based upon certain fears he instilled in me through abuse.

I am consistently attracted to liars, cheaters and cowards who use negative reinforcement to communicate their emotions rather than talk straightforwardly. At least this flaw in my development and reasoning is recognizable, giving me hope that I won't ever hurt anyone as a result of being hurt (esp. my children) and will someday be able to halt before getting involved with negative male personalities.

I might need the strength of a dude, though.
I'll give it a shot anyway.